The Right Way:
Making Decisions and Finding Direction for Life’s Journey
Life is full of decisions. As a young man, I assumed that by a certain age, I would have made all of the big decisions, but I am learning that important choices must be made at every stage of life. There are junctures all along life’s journey where you will have to decide which way to go – and the crossroads of life have enormous consequences.
“Decisions determine direction, and direction determines destination.”
There are many things that you could do, and then there is the thing that you should do. If you want to end well, then every step matters! What is “the right way”? (Click HERE to complete our Which Way Do I Go? YouVersion Plan).
In the first book of the Bible, we find one of the most helpful patterns for finding God’s will. Genesis, the book of beginnings, is foundational in so many ways to our faith. Genesis 12-25 unfolds the story of a man called Abraham, who was called to leave his comfort zone and step out on the promises of God. Faith is a muscle that must be stretched and exercised, or it will atrophy. Abraham is the classic example of a believer building a strong faith over time.
His son Isaac would have to learn to believe in God as well. Heritage and history is not enough. Your father’s faith will never be enough for your life. Every generation must come to know God by experience, and every individual must trust the Lord, personally.
By the time we reach Genesis 24 in the story, Isaac is a grown man, ready to be married and in need of a wife. According to ancient custom, the father would help find a bride for his son. Abraham wanted that bride to be a woman of faith in God and not a woman raised in the pagan, idolatrous practices of Canaan. (This principle, repeated in 1 Corinthians 7, is one that every believer should remember when seeking a life’s mate.) And so he sends his servant, Eleazar, back to his home country to find the woman of God’s choosing for his son.
This is very important. It was not Abraham’s choice. It was not Isaac’s choice. And it was not Eleazar’s choice. It was God’s choice that must be found!
Jim Elliott famously said, “God always gives his best to those who leave the choice with him.” Yes, we have a choice in where we will get our education, who we will marry, and what we will do with our lives. But the best choice is to let God choose. The Psalmist said, “The LORD shall choose our inheritance for us…” When we agree with His decision, we discover the secret to finding “the right way.”
Let’s start at the end. After the Lord revealed that Rebekah was His choice for Isaac, Eleazar testified: “I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way…” (Genesis 24:48). God’s way is always right.
It is easier to see what God was doing after it is done. But how did God lead Eleazar? What were the steps taken to find “the right way”? In the following few pages, I want you to join me as we make the trip with Eleazar. Put yourself in his sandals as he walks step by step with the Lord. No one can tell you all of God’s will for your life, but God Himself has shown us the way to find His will. Let’s get on the path that leads to “the right way…”
Finding God’s Will
Early in life, I figured there would come a point where all of the biggest life decisions were behind you. Once you decide who you will marry, where you will live, and what you will do for a living, it should put you over the hump – or so I thought.
I am 47 years of age as of this writing, and I can testify to the realization that life is indeed a journey, and all along the way there will be crossroads and intersections where decisions must be made and a new direction determined. Every one of those decisions matters.
If you learn to find the will of God, it will not only help you now but throughout your life. The way God leads and guides is always the same. He follows certain principles and patterns. Your story is not mine and my story is not yours, but we all serve the same God who gave us a roadmap for the journey, and He uses His Word to show us His will.
I encounter people regularly who say, “Please pray for me. I’m trying to find the will of God.” It never ceases to amaze me how many of those people admit that they spend little time in the Bible. How on earth are you going to find the will of God if you are not concerned enough to be in the Word of God? That is what He uses to speak to us.
The Example of Isaac | Genesis 24
I have written a book on the life of Joseph, on how the Lord was with Him. His example is very well known. But let us backtrack a bit and take a look at a critical time in the life of his grandfather, Isaac. He needed to find a wife. (By the way, this article is not about marriage or finding a mate but outside of your own salvation, the biggest decision you will make in life is who you marry. The direction of your life in so many ways will be determined by who you become one with.)
Eastern culture at this time was much different than what we are familiar with because a young person’s parents played a much larger role in determining his or her life’s mate. Nearly all of us are praising God right now that we do not operate the same way, although I do think the counsel and guidance of godly parents is important and it is always good to seek their blessing. But there are some principles here that I want us to give our attention to.
Abraham did not choose his son’s wife; he allowed God to do it.
Look at Genesis 24:1-7:
“And Abraham was old, and wellstricken in age: and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac. And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest? And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again. The Lord God of heaven, which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.“
From there, beginning in verse 8 and throughout the chapter to verse 61, we see how God answered prayer and gave divine guidance, leading the servant to the right woman and then working in her heart to get her ready as well as making her family willing to release her.
Verses 61-63: “And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way. And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.“
You know those camels were a welcome sight to him, not because he loved camels but because he knew the one God had chosen for him was arriving.
Verses 64-67: “And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”
“The great struggle in all of life is this: Who gets to make the choice.”
The Bible says in Psalm 47:4, “He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.” This is a reference to the Lord making the choice for the nation of Israel. Have you ever made a decision you later regretted? Sometimes you just want a do-over but you can’t get one. I have made bad choices and have also been around other people who made bad choices.
But the Lord is the only one I know of who has never made a bad choice. He has a much different vantage point because He knows and sees everything. When I was in high school there was a young lady I liked. One day my mother said to me, “Son, I don’t think she is the one for you.” I did not like hearing that at all, but it turned out that Jesus and my mother were both right about that.
In my first year of college, I was in a particular circle of friends that included a young lady in whom I had no romantic interest. In fact, I liked another young lady at the time and she liked another young man. She and I began talking to each other about these other people, and we spent so much time together that we figured out we liked each other better than anyone else.
We got rid of them and kept each other. Our wedding was on Friday the 13, which was the luckiest day of my life. We now have shared 25 years of marriage and have three beautiful children who, thankfully, all look like their mother. We have also been blessed by a great son-in-law and an adorable granddaughter.
As I look back on that, I wonder what would have happened if I had made the choice? I had no way of ever meeting this woman I would eventually marry had I not been seeking the Lord’s will and following godly counsel along the way. What if I had missed that? God never makes a bad decision. Never.
“When you learn to leave it all in His hands, you discover that He always exceeds expectations.”
Think about how Adam got Eve. He did not create her himself or search through the garden to find her. He simply went to sleep and, as he rested in the Lord, he was presented with the perfect person for him.
Finding the will of God is simply learning to let God choose for you. This is true not only with your mate but in every aspect of your life.
My Personal Experience:
Years ago, I thought I would be in the same place for the rest of my life. We had a beautiful home and were well cared for. The people around us thought we would always be there, and it was the only place my kids knew. Then the Holy Spirit led me it was time to step out by faith and go into evangelistic work.
I would like to be able to say that I jumped up and down and said, “Yes, Lord! I’ve been waiting for you to tell me that!” Instead, I actually argued with God (you can never win one of those arguments). I tried to tell Him why it was a terrible idea and we should stay put.
The will of God does not always make sense but it is always right. As Matthew 11:19 says, “But wisdom is justified of her children.” Sometimes those children have some growing up to do for you to realize that it was wisdom, but God’s way is always perfect.
I remember well the great struggle I was going through at that time, trying to figure out this step into the unknown and everything of which I was unsure. My greatest struggle was discerning whether this was what I wanted to do or what God wanted me to do.
In the end, only a sincere Christian can find the will of God. If you want to do what you want to do, that is what you will end up doing. You will figure out who to excuse it, validate it, and get someone else to sign off on it. You are the only one who can determine whether you want your way or God’s way. The Christian life has to be lived with this prayer: “Not my will, but thy will be done.”
There are some very practical things in the bookends of this story from Genesis 24 that I think all of us can apply to our lives when it comes to God’s will and His choice.
Seeking God’s Best
Abraham knew that he could find Isaac a wife from where they were living among the Canaanites, who were pagan and worldly people, but he wanted her to come from a godly line and be God’s best.
Don’t Settle.
Let me give you some good advice: Don’t settle for less. I am convinced that so many people, whether in their work or their marriage or other major decisions, just say to themselves, “That will do. That will work.” This happens because it is easy and convenient. It is what they can see. But the Christian life is not a sight life; it is a faith life. And God only unfolds it one step at a time.
Do the Will of God.
Everyone wants a syllabus for their lives to fall out of Heaven. A syllabus is that document you receive on the first day of class in school that (theoretically) lays out all of the details and expectations for the course. As a former professor, I can tell you that usually does not happen exactly that way, but you get the idea.
Most people want it all spelled out for them from the beginning, so they can read over it and decide what they like and what they want to negotiate with God to change. That is never the way God gives His will. Instead of arriving like a syllabus, it unrolls like a scroll that you read a little at a time.
The will of God never comes all at once but is unveiled step by step, day by day, and moment by moment. If you are unwilling to seek God’s will where you are, you will not find His will for the future. Jesus said in John 7:17, “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether 1 speak of myself.” That is backward from the way we usually operate. We think, “If I know it, I can do it.” Jesus said, “If you do it, you will know it.”
If you want to know the will of God, do the will of God. Do what you know, and you will know what to do. If you are not living an obedient Christian life, seeking God’s best for you every single day, you will never have God show you what He has for your future. Start by doing what God has already revealed in His Word.
Recognize God’s Blessings.
We need to recognize God’s blessings to us. The story in Genesis 24 began with a reference to how God had blessed Abraham in everything. We need to take it seriously. In verse 2 Abraham and his servant observed a custom that seems a bit strange to us today, but it was a sober vow that the servant would do everything in his power to see that Abraham’s wishes were carried out.
The decisions you make right now will affect not only your family but generations to come. You should never make a life decision with the attitude of, “I think I’ll try that for a while.” Tell the God who has blessed you so abundantly that you want everything He has for you.
Notice in verse 3 Abraham’s reference to “the God of heaven, and the God of the earth.” Why did he say that? Why not just say “God”? It is a reminder that the God whose will is being done so perfectly in Heaven is the same God who can orchestrate everything down here.
Remember how the Lord prayed in Matthew 6:10, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” How is God’s will done in Heaven? Perfectly and completely.
That is how we should want it done in each of our lives. We must say to Him, “Whatever you have, Lord, the answer is already yes.” God will not negotiate the details with you. But if you come to Him in humble submission, He will fill in the details of your life in a way that will never disappoint you. He will exceed your expectations. There is a level of adventure to the life of faith. I know this is not a word found in the Bible, but it is fun to follow the Lord.
It takes all the pressure off of you, and you do not need to have all the answers.
People have said to me occasionally, “You must have big plans.” In reality, when I stepped out by faith into this new work God gave me, I had zero plans. I was holding on for dear life.
Years later I discovered that the Lord had done more for me than I ever imagined. You will never be disappointed with God’s choice. Do not settle for anything less than His plan for your life.
Looking for God’s Leading
In verse 7 Abraham told his servant, “he shall send his angel before thee.” Do you believe God is ahead of you? He always is.
When I was at one of the most difficult struggle points of my decision-making process, trying to discern the future, a friend said to me one day, “Scott, God is already in your future. He has all the details worked out, and when you get there you will see it clearly.” I cannot explain it, but that was a liberating day for me. It was the day I realized I did not have to understand it all or see it all written down on paper and seen through to the end. I just had to say, “Lord, You lead me and I will follow.”
Be A Follower.
So many of us love to plan our lives, but God is not looking for planners. He is the Planner and is looking for followers. He is working His plan and purpose in your life, wanting you to believe that He has gone ahead of you and to just look for His footsteps to follow.
I remember going through the snow in West Virginia as a boy, trying to follow my grandfather’s path that he made with his long stride and large feet. That was difficult to do when I was small. The path our Heavenly Father makes for us is slightly different; He shows us one footprint at a time. When we take one step, He shows us the next one.
I have discovered that God always gives divine confirmations to His will. You can see it somewhat in all of the small things that take place in this story in Genesis 24, such as how the servant was led to the well and the woman who was drawing water there. When I started following the Lord and seeking His will for my life, He began giving me divine confirmations through His Word, the counsel of others and circumstances as He worked in my heart. All of these things showed me His plan and purpose.
God is not playing hide and seek with you. This is not some guessing game. Until God makes it plain, do nothing. When He does make it plain, act immediately. You do not want to get ahead of Him or too far behind Him – as Colossians 4:12 states, “that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.”
When I was going through my process of seeking God’s direction, I must have prayed a thousand times the words of Psalm 27:11. “Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path.” God will make it plain to you if you are willing to follow His divine leading.
In this account, it was as the servant continued to pray and obey that God kept giving him the green light. If you are sitting right now at a red light or a caution light, you had better not hit the gas. Sit and wait; let the Lord show you what to do.
The Secret of Guidance
Perhaps the most helpful book for me outside of the Bible during this time in my life was by F.B. Meyer titled, The Secret of Guidance. It had such a powerful impact on me that when I discovered it was out of print and in the public domain I had it redone and posted on our ministry’s website so you can read it for free.
In that book, Meyer told the story of a famous ship captain who was well-known for bringing a ship into a dangerous harbor repeatedly without ever running aground. One day he had a young protégé with him who he was training, and as they were coming in one evening while it was dark the young man marveled at the experienced captain’s wisdom in this regard. “Sir, over the years I have heard so many stories of other captains running into the rocks on this path, yet you never have,” the young man said. “Please tell me how you do it.” With a wink and a smile, the captain pointed to the top of a mountain ahead.
“Tell me what you see.”
“I see three lights.”
“I’ll say no more. Watch those lights.”
As they approached, the three lights seemed to merge until ultimately there was only a single very bright light visible. “When I was young,” the captain said, “I learned that if I followed those lights until they lined up and became one, I would remain on a straight path and not run aground.”
After recounting this story, F.B. Meyer wrote that when God is leading and guiding in your life, it will not be just one thing. There will be multiple lights that He lines up which all agree:
- The light of Scripture will speak to you
- The light of good counsel from others will speak to you
- The light of God’s providential work through circumstances in your life will speak to you.
When all of those lights line up as one great light, you will know you have found the Lord’s path for you, and you can safely move forward.
I think we would all like to make decisions without having our ships run aground. The way to do that is to seek diving leading at every step. Just because you want to do it and someone else thinks you should do it does not mean it is the will of God.
Pursuing God’s Presence
Genesis 24:63 states, “And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide.” Meditation in Scripture typically carries with it a connotation of communion with God. I believe Isaac was praying at this time. He was walking through the field, unaware that the camels were approaching or that his future wife was just over the horizon. The remainder of the verse says, “and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.”
Take Your Hands Off.
The will of God for Isaac did not come when he was out hunting for it or trying to make it happen himself. It showed up while he was attempting to get closer to God. “I need to figure out who I’m going to marry.” No, you don’t. You need to get closer to God and He will show you who you should marry. “I’m trying to decide between three different colleges and it is so confusing.” You don’t have to make that decision. Get as near to God as you possibly can and His presence will clarify that decision. The Lord will show you what you should do.
“I don’t know about my life’s work. There is so much noise and so many voices in my head.” I can tell you what will cut through that – the simplicity of Christ. When you pursue Him, He will take care of the rest. It is so simple, but it is not the way we want to live.
When I speak in conferences, whether to singles or married couples, they want me to give them some kind of formula: “5 steps to do this” or “3 ways to do that.” We as Americans like our equation Christianity, but that is not how the answer is found. Get in the presence of God and let Him shed light on the answer.
While walking in the field in the evening, not knowing when or how his life’s mate would show up, Isaac was leaving all of the details in God’s hands. People today say they want to do the will of God when what they truly want is for God to do their will. That is a big difference.
The will of God comes when you finally take your hands off and say, “Lord, I believe that whatever You choose will be the right thing for me. I will be content and joyous to leave all of the details in Your hands.” The word “behold” in verse 63 is a word of exclamation. It meant good things were happening. I have discovered that as you simply follow the Lord in total obedience and trust, in the midst of it all He will bring His will to you.
Seek God First.
Moses was leading millions of his people through the wilderness and he prayed to God for direction. In Exodus 33:13 he said, “shew me now thy way, that I may know thee.” He did not ask which way to lead the people or how not to be embarrassed as their leader. He wanted to know the Lord better.
Before I was born, my dad took a verse for his life and for his family. It was Matthew 6:33. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” He just turned 70 years of age and is about to celebrate with my mother 50 years of marriage. He was a businessman who started out at 18 having never gone to college and became very successful, reaching the position of vice president of his company. I remember as a very small boy enjoying the material fruits of his success.
He was in his 30s when God called him to preach, and it turned his world upside down. I remember him being a bi-vocational pastor for a time and then leaving his job to become a full-time pastor. People thought he was crazy. He took a church in Beckley, WV, and has been its pastor for more than 30 years. He and my mother have never been happier, and it all started when a young man decided to seek God first and let Him take care of the rest.
The Missing Piece
I was on a plane a few years ago next to a very wealthy businessman from Italy named Sergio. As we chatted, he told me about the international business he owned and the fact that he and his wife have a house in the United States, which was the reason he was there that day. He asked me, “What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a preacher.”
That answer, at 30,000 feet, usually makes people either very glad to be sitting next to you or wishing they were somewhere else. This man was intrigued and wanted to know more. Our conversation gravitated to spiritual and eternal things. “Sergio,” I said, “do you know Jesus as your Savior? Do you have a relationship with God?”
For the first time in our conversation, he looked down. “No, sir. I do not.” I had never done this before, but the Lord brought something to mind and I asked him if he had ever worked a jigsaw puzzle. He was surprised to hear that question but answered yes. I then asked if he had ever gotten one almost completely finished, only to find that one piece was missing. “Yes,” he said with a chuckle. “I have done that.” “Well, that is how life works,” I told him. “You can spend your whole life getting all the pieces in place just like you want them, thinking it will be perfect and beautiful. But if you miss the most important piece, it will never be complete.”
I explained to Sergio that Jesus Christ is the only one who can make the puzzle whole. I will say the same thing to any Christian who is searching for God’s will. If you seek God first, you will get it all.
More Resources:
Read: How to Enjoy the Journey
Watch: “Let God Choose For You” – A full-length Bible message by Scott Pauley
“Which Way Do I Go?” Bible App Plan
