Navigating Grief
The empty chair, the favorite song, or the old pictures trigger a deep sorrow for those who are no longer with us. In recent weeks, God has used Psalms 31 to minister to my own heart. It deals with grief and adversity. Whether it be in a single moment or a slow crippling illness, all of us have experienced some measure of loss. No two people have the same experience. No two deaths are felt the same way. Yet, it is the same God to whom we must run.
In every type of trouble, God is there. Every heartache is allowed by our Heavenly Father – He knows what is best. It is our Savior that bears our burdens and carries us through deep waters. However, even those who have experienced the Divine peace of God amid their grief, still feel deep loss and even loneliness during special seasons. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, even places and habits remind us of who made them so special.
Keeping the right perspective is essential while navigating grief. The pain is real. The heartache lingers. Our minds are overwhelmed. How we respond makes the difference.
From Psalm 31, here are three considerations:
1. See What God Has Done For You
“I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;” (Psalm 31:7)
Do you see the connection there? It is through suffering, affliction, temptation, the difficulties that God strengthens our hearts. Notice, however, what we are to rejoice in. We are not to rejoice in the loss of those we love. We are not the stoics of old who viewed suffering as a means to achieve a higher self. No! By contrast, we realize that we need more of Him! We learn to “rejoice in [God’s] mercy.” As we find the faithful Shepherd leading us through the darkness, we rejoice in His faithfulness.
“Thou hast known my soul in adversities.” Now this is a different word in the Hebrew language and English. “Adversities” refers to the difficulties that come upon our mind and our soul, it is the battle of emotions during a test. In Scripture, this word is often used in the context of grief or sorrow. For example, Psalm 116:3 reads: “The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.” Those who have experienced the loss of one closest to them know exactly what the Psalmist is describing. You can become lost, compassed about, surrounded by the sense of loss. But we cannot stay there! Consider how the Psalmist continues:
“Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul. Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.” (Psalm 116:4)
Back in Psalm 30, the Psalmist praised the Lord for His goodness: “I will extol thee, O Lord; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.” Has God ever failed you? He will not begin now. Reflect on all He has done for you in the past.
2. See What God Is Doing For You
Here again, in the times of sorrow, as we run to the Lord, we find His tender mercies. “Thou hast known my soul in adversities.” It cannot be explained, only known. We know Him and He knows our soul. This is not academic knowledge; it is intimate. In grief, we often learn who are greatest friends are. They are there, they encourage us, they help us. Christ is there (Hebrews 13:5). He gives us courage (vs. 22-24). He is our helper (Hebrews 13:6).
Alexander MacLaren wrote of this passage:
“It is enough to know that God sees the secret sorrows, the obscure trials which can be told to none. He loves as well as knows, and looks on no griefs which He will not comfort nor on any wounds which He is not ready to bind up.”
“All ye that hope in the Lord” (verse 24). If you don’t want your affliction, heartache, or suffering wasted, hope in God. If you want what God has designed to do in you through trials and sufferings, hope in God.
Psalm 31:1-4 serves as our guide:
- Trust in God (vs. 1 – “In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust”)
- Call Out to God (vs. 2-3 – Bow down thine ear to me…be thou my strong rock…Pull me out the net…”)
- Seek God’s Leading (vs. 3 – “For thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me”
- Claim God’s Promises (vs. 3 – “Thou art my rock and my fortress”)
- Commit your Spirit to God (vs. 5 – “Into thine hand I commit my spirit”)
As we hope in God, we can be of good courage. Why? Because He will strengthen our hearts. He will give us the strength we don’t have. God is with you.
Psalm 31:5 is the key, “Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.” Commit yourself and your sorrow to the One who gave His life to redeem you. When you don’t understand, go back to what you do understand – the overwhelming love of God for you. Jesus quoted this very Scripture as He died on the Cross to redeem us! He can be trusted.
Watch Scott Pauley speak more on this:
3. See What God Can Do Through You
Notice the inspired call to action at the end of Psalm 31? David, from His adversity, exhorts us in Psalm 31:22-24 “O love the Lord, all ye his saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer. Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.” In Psalm 30, David gave the purpose of His deliverance. “To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.” Has God brought you through loss? If He has, praise Him for it! As you praise, God comforts.
Our comfort is for the glory of God and the consolation of others. The Apostle Paul affirms this: “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). God can use our grief far beyond what we can see in this moment of grief. While this doesn’t lessen the pain, it reminds us that His way is perfect.
Claim Psalm 18:30-33 in your seasons of sorrow.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
For who is God save the Lord? or who is a rock save our God?
It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places.
In a letter to a grieving friend, John Newton wrote: “When you cannot see your way, be satisfied that He is your Leader. When your spirit is overwhelmed within you, He knows your path: He will not leave you to sink. He has appointed seasons of refreshment, and you shall find He does not forget you.”
Recently, I was speaking with someone I love about the matter of pain and suffering. Why does a good God allow this? This is not a new question, but it is hard. Casting doubt on the goodness of God is one of Satan’s chief attacks. Let us be clear: God is good. We live in a world marred by sin and sickness. Yet, our gracious Father reaches out of Heaven to know our soul in those adversities. He allows the grief we experience to be an avenue for a deeper walk with the Creator God. In sorrow He brings joy.
May I testify? God always brings true joy, even through the deepest seasons of mourning. You may feel lost, confused, and overcome by the night…Dawn will break again. When it does, let us not be silent. But let us praise the One who was with us through the night. The One who never sleeps but is ever watching over His children. You may never get over your sorrow. But as you pass through the rivers of grief, God is with you (see Isaiah 43).
Dear friend, no one may ever comprehend the pain you are experiencing. He does. No man can supply you with the strength you need. He will. In grief, God will be your helper.
Resources: Study through the Psalms on the Bible App
Read: 5 Reflections on Life and Death
Discover more from Enjoying the Journey
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