Lessons God is Teaching Me about My Family

My kids are growing up so quickly. We are entering a new season as “empty-nesters.” I feel like I am getting old so quickly! Life moves along at a rapid pace, and God is teaching me many things. I am not the husband or father that I should be. More and more, I thank God for the wife that He has given to me, and the mother that she is to our three children.

Our home is not perfect. No home is. But Home is the greatest classroom on earth…and not just for the children. Every day there is more to learn, and our failures serve to remind us that we have not arrived. Every day the Holy Spirit is showing me areas that we need to work on. I would like to share a few things that God is teaching me. These are not the words of a teacher. They are the words of a student — a student who is still learning.

1. Make the most of the evenings.

Genesis tells us that “the evening and the morning were the first day.” The Jewish day started at 6:00 in the evening. Much thought was given to the evening hours. In our world, it is easy to waste the evenings with meaningless entertainment and distraction.

The truth is that evenings determine how the next morning will begin. Have a family meal. Take your time. Turn the television off, put your phones down, and talk. Make preparation for the next day and you will be glad you did in the morning!

2. Develop a regular family altar.

We have done this several ways through the years. It has never been perfect and we have not always been as consistent as we should have. Yet this is one of the most important parts of a truly Christian home.

Read a portion from the Bible each day. Pray together. Let everyone participate. It does not have to be a church service, but a brief few moments ate the family altar will make a difference in the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of life. Families should be able to talk about spiritual things as freely as they would any other subject.

This year we are taking a different Christian character quality and spending a week on each. A journey through the Great Stories of the Bible is wonderful. At etj.bible, we have many resources to help you get started. The point is: start.

3. Limit the influence of media.

Media stifles imagination and robs families of precious time. We had to learn that the constant drone of the television is the background is not a good thing. Media is not a good babysitter. Guard the Internet. Even if you are looking at very good things, you cannot look at your children and the screen at the same time.

4. Do something fun as a family every week and have a little fun every day.

My dad and mom were big on having “family night” on Fridays. We looked forward to it all week. Make time to play and laugh together. Schedule blocks of time for your spouse and children or they will get only the leftovers.

5. Practice showing affection.

I know all families are not equally expressive, but love should be expressed. How would you want to speak or act toward a loved one if you knew it was the last time you would see them? Do not be ashamed to hug and kiss. Say, “I love you” often.

6. Plan family events together and allow everyone to look forward to them.

Family vacations are important. They do not have to be elaborate or terribly expensive. A few days concentrating on each other will help you all year long. Dad and Mom taught us that we could have a good time together anywhere, and we are trying to pass that on to our kids.

Plan your vacation well in advance and talk about it all year. Give the kids something to look forward to! Anticipation is part of the fun.

7. Get outside.

With all of our technology, we have lost the wonder of the miracles that surround us every day. Take a walk. Listen to the birds. Play ball. Get a dog. Enjoy God’s creation and teach your children to enjoy the simple things in life.

8. Never argue in front of the children.

Now, I am sure you are thinking: “We never argue at all.” Then perhaps you are farther along than me! All married couples have “discussions” and some of those should be done in private. Do not talk about problems in front of your children. Speak in faith and encourage them to face their own problems depending on the Lord.

9. Play good music around the house.

It is wonderful to hear children sing. In fact, it is wonderful for the whole family to sing together. Play Christ-honoring music through the day. Encourage your children to learn a musical instrument. Sing a silly song to your kids! Make good music a part of the atmosphere in your home.

10. Do not belittle any family member for bringing up a topic of conversation.

The older children get, the more likely they are to be reserved about sharing what is on their mind. One of the worst things we can do is embarrass them into thinking that their questions and ideas are ignorant. As long as they are talking, the communication line is open. That is good.

11. Teach every member of the family to love the pastor and his family.

We have sought to pray for our Pastor every time we have prayed together as a family. Lead by example. Encourage the kids to speak to the Pastor or write him a special note. Encouragers are made, not born. This should be fostered in the Christian home.

12. Always speak positively about the local church and spiritual authority.

Do not criticize Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, and others in positions of leadership. Criticism destroys the influence of the very people God desires to use in the lives of our children. Guard against questioning other authorities. When you tear down the principle of authority, you tear down a measure of your own influence.

13. Spend time talking about the Bible message after each church service.

We enjoy talking at the Sunday dinner table about each person’s Sunday School lesson. This is a good place to start. Do not take for granted that your children understood everything the preacher shared. Help them to understand and make application. The Puritans emphasized this as the role of the father. It is a role we must not neglect.

14. Practice the principle of the Sabbath with your family.

Recently I read what a typical Jewish family did (and did not do) in observance of the Sabbath. Amazing! Now I know that we are not under the law and New Testament Christians worship on the first day of the week. Yet there is an eternal principle to be found in the fourth commandment.

Did you know that more explanation is given to that commandment than any of the other nine? Read Exodus 20:8-11. It takes up more space than any of the others and gets less attention. Oh, we want our kids to obey the other nine! But we break this one.

Rest

You see, the Sabbath was a regular time of rest and worship. It was the time of reminder that God alone gives rest and God alone is to be worshipped. Pastor Clarence Sexton once brought a wonderful message on this truth. He said that the “sabbath life” is more than the “sabbath day.”

We are all too busy, too distracted, too connected. Our hearts and homes need moments of quiet and time specifically set aside to consider our great God. The sabbath principle is not really the Mosaic law; it is God’s law. Long before Exodus, the Creator set this in motion.

In Genesis 2:1-3, God rested. This is what God created on the seventh day! Rest.

Remember that God made man on the sixth day. This means that the first day Adam ever lived on this earth was a day of rest. His first day was a day alone with his Creator. This is God’s way.

The world says work until you drop. The Lord says, come apart and spend time with Him. Then go out to your work — work out of the overflow of His rest. Our homes would do well to recognize this truth. Slow down. Teach your children that hurry is not always holy.

Do Your Homework

There is so much to learn, and we will not have our families forever. What is God teaching you about your home life today? Perhaps more important, what will you do about it?

I know that there are many more things God will teach me. He uses my wife, my children, and others far more experienced than me to deliver the lessons. My job is just to be a good student. Home really is a wonderful classroom if you do your homework.

Following God’s Word & Finding Christ’s Joy.

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