Satan and sin pervert every good thing given to us by God. At this moment many in our generation have come to believe that “love” between two men or two women must be sexual or romantic in nature. Love has devolved into lust.

Little children are being told that if they have feelings for another person of the same gender then they are very obviously homosexual. What a gross, shallow view of human relationships! It misses the obvious truth: we are social beings with a need for constructive, appropriate relationships with both men and women.

God created man to leave and cleave, to build a family, to raise children. The same Creator who gave this perfect design for family also ordained that men and women would develop deep, meaningful friendships with other men and women. Friendship is the foundational relationship of a civilized society.

C.S. Lewis’ discussion of the three loves – eros, phileo, and agape – is a fascinating one. We know that it is agape love, divine love, that surpasses and sanctifies all other loves. There is no love like God’s love shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost (Romans 5:5).

But, consider the distinction between eros and phileo. It is a sad confusion and Satanic perversion that erases the boundaries between erotic love and brotherly love. Whatever happened to the love of David and Jonathan?

The friendship between these two strong men was deep and holy. God tells us of their bond from the beginning of the story, “The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1). Scripture repeats the emphasis, “…he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul” (1 Samuel 20:17). 

When Jonathan was killed in battle David mourned over him with these words, “I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women” (2 Samuel 1:26).

The greatest intimacy in a relationship is not romantic in nature because the deepest needs are never physical. A pornographic, perverted world has demeaned human emotion and devalued friendship to the basest things. And while we cannot change all of the culture around us we can guard against the culture changing us! 

It is my conviction that David was a picture of the Son of David – the true Man after God’s own heart – that was to come. Our Lord Jesus Christ lived a sinless, pure life as He walked through this sin tainted world. In the midst of it all He developed deep friendships with a small band of men. He called them friends (John 15:12-15). He shared His heart with them. He loved them to the end (John 13:1). 

Find your definition of friendship and love in the Scriptures. Develop godly relationships. It is vital that we teach these distinctions to children and young people. In a world simultaneously full of hatred and false ideas about love we desperately need more of the love of David and Jonathan. Only a vivid picture of pure friendship can overcome the cheap substitutes that this world promotes.